New York Stories - the Museums

As I said, most of my New York trips were for appointments or coverage, but there have been some windows of opportunity to see some museum exhibits. I’m still somewhat museum- (and movie-, concert-, sports-, friend-, and lots of things) deprived from my time away, but I always knew how lucky I have been to live in places here where there is so much going on. New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, New York – all have so much to offer. One of the first things I saw was an exhibit of sculpture from Vietnam, at the Asia Society. I had just seen quite a bit of it in Vietnam, but it was a first for anything like this to be in the U.S. I was struck with how special it was to have been in Vietnam; it’s still so recent that it’s been open to us. And the art from there is just beginning to be discovered – and the Asia Society is a treasure, and New York is full of treasures, so full that sometimes you need a reminder of how special it too is.

Here’s a sample from Vietnam of the kind of thing I saw in New York (it may be a while before I get to the Vietnam writeup!):


Another Asia Society exhibit I saw was photographs of the glaciers in the Himalayas, then and now – needless to say, the glaciers are a lot smaller now. Sad. I also went to the Museum of Natural History for an exhibit on the Silk Road. Weaving, natural dye, spices, silks, pottery – now I look at all of these and compare it to what I saw in Morocco. You can see some differences but the similarities are remarkable - it’s amazing to think of the trade routes and the products and people that traveled them.

At the Museum of the City of New York, I saw an exhibit on Mayor Lindsay. I saw him once in a restaurant, after he was no longer mayor, and he just radiated charisma. I have seen that type of charisma in person from only three people in my lifetime – Mayor Lindsay, Arny Langbo, the president of Kellogg’s when I worked at its Mrs. Smith’s subsidiary, and Joe Namath (I’ve heard other people say that about Namath too). Last year I went to the Nixon Presidential Library and Museum, curious to see if what history said about him matched with what I remembered from my youth. I had the same approach to the Lindsay exhibit – after all, it covered more or less the same time frame. And as I experienced last year, some aspects of the exhibit were familiar and some were new to me – and with the passage of time, things took on a different perspective anyway. The records and the legacy are mixed (well, for Nixon too, when you think about it) – those times were turbulent.




I went to that exhibit on September 11 – and the Museum of the City of New York had a showing of the HBO documentary on 9/11. I hadn’t been in New York City on a September 11th, so I decided to commemorate the day by watching it. So, so upsetting. I don’t have to watch that again for another nine years – or ever. So, so emotional. I went to the Mets game that afternoon – now THAT’s a good way to commemorate the day; they had a short tribute but also a ball game – and saw the Tribute of Light in the sky that night (another good way to commemorate, though it’s not certain that it will continue after next year – I’m glad I saw it in person at least once!).


I went to the Rubin Museum of Himalayan Art – something I have been meaning to do since returning last year from Southeast Asia! It took me until this year, and Rose being in town, to get there – I enjoyed seeing the ancient art, but even more I enjoyed the contemporary art – some edgy stuff that combines old traditions with new interpretations. I took one picture before they told me that I wasn’t allowed to (oops) – and I didn’t erase it (I would have had they asked me to) – it’s a Buddha made out of tiny kids’ stickers.... love it.


And recently I went to the Morgan for an exhibit of Roy Lichtenstein black and white drawings. Roy’s widow Dorothy is a prominent philanthropist in Southampton (I’ve seen her picture in the local society pages!), so I felt like I was supporting the neighbors. The exhibit delighted me – his art is fun - and I left with an extra spring in my step (but no photographs…). Oh, the power of art to move people!

New York Stories - the Appointments

I've been going back and forth to New York more this year than last year. It could merely be that the transition last year from Drive Across America to the Philippines was shorter than Amtrak Across America to Whatever is Next is turning out to be. It could be that my sister had a babysitter last year and needed more coverage this spring and summer (this fall, she found other coverage). Or it could be that I was in New York more for other things that were going on. While there, most of the time I had appointments (usually with time for a walk in Central Park), but I also had some adventures that I’ll write home about.

Some appointments were noteworthy. One was an eye operation. You may recall that in Morocco I was diagnosed with secondary cataracts, after playing cards one day and noticing that there was a little blur. Secondary cataracts happen often after cataract operations – as the Rabat doctor put it, it’s like a windshield getting dirty. You go in with a laser and in two minutes it’s like cleaning the windshield and it never happens again. By the time I was diagnosed, though, there wasn’t time for the operation and its follow-up in Morocco. Armed with a P-127C form from the Peace Corps, I went to an eye doctor in New York last year; he told me it wasn’t bad enough to justify the operation and to come back in six months. This almost held up my medical clearance for the Philippines – I had to get a note from him saying that I wouldn’t need the operation while I was gone and that if I came back in nine months instead of six it would be okay. By the time I came back, it had progressed to the point where he would operate, and a few minutes later, no more blur! It’s inevitable that I’ll need it in the other eye at some point, but so far I don’t.

I didn’t have a blog (were there even blogs?) when I had my cataract operations; here are pictures of what the world looks like when you have my type of cataracts (it really did get this bad before I had the operation…):


Compared to:


Another appointment… while I was away, the Brazilian Keratin hair treatment became all the rage, and I was talked into getting one. It’s a conditioning treatment that also straightens your hair – no frizz! I can painstakingly blow-dry my hair straight if I have the patience, but I also like to scrunch it curly. This treatment leaves it wash-and-go straight, no muss, no fuss. It takes several hours and costs a small fortune (well, everything does in New York – I’m still not used to that) and you can’t wash your hair for 72 hours after you get it, and it lasts for three months. I was told over and over that I would love it and – well, I didn’t. My hair was way too flat! And I made the mistake of getting this the week before my 30th Princeton reunion! I eventually decided it wasn’t bad, but it took a month to be less flat, and being unhappy with it one month out of three didn’t seem to justify getting it. There’s apparently another version, where you don’t have to wait to wash your hair, and it doesn’t look so flat for the first month, but I have so far resisted getting it done. It’s finally wearing out (so it actually lasted for four months) but so far I have resisted getting it done again. Here’s a picture of it from Reunions – too flat!


I haven’t done a year-on-year comparison, but I feel as though I’
Another thing I did some of in New York was shopping. When I came back from Morocco last year, I just wasn’t ready to buy new clothes. My sister told me I had to, but I just wasn’t ready. And it was kind of all right in the end, because I was able to wear my Morocco clothes in the Philippines. I left most of them there – they were pretty worn out and enough was enough. It was easier to shop this year – in part because I did some shopping in the malls in the Philippines, but just being around the malls made it less of a shock to be back – and in part because and I simply had to get some things to wear, both every day and to interviews. I like the idea behind the Great American Clothing Diet – nothing new for a year – and maybe I can consider it some day, but not until I am reunited with the clothes I have in storage and have appropriate clothing for Whatever is Next.

The Southampton Writers Conference

Last year I became aware of the Southampton Writers Conference, but I was scheduled to leave for the Philippines before it took place. When my departure was postponed for the final time, I quickly filled out an application and biked over to the campus with it – but most of the workshops were full, so they told me no. Just as well, in the end – I had a busy couple of weeks before my departure! This year I applied, was accepted, and attended.

The conference takes place every year for ten days at the end of July. It consists of workshops, readings, talks and lectures, morning, afternoon and evening. I biked over to the Stony Brook Southampton campus, a few miles away, past the Shinnecock reservation. It gets dark here when it gets dark, so I skipped all of the evening events. That’s okay – the days were full enough! The Southampton Breakers wooden-bat baseball league plays on the campus, and I stayed for a couple of games after the afternoon sessions.


Right around the time I applied last year, there was a New Yorker article about the proliferation of writing programs and how tough it was to have your peers tear your writing apart; at least that’s how I remember the article, and that was another reason it was okay that I didn’t go last year. I don’t know if I was any less fragile this year, but in my memoir workshop this year, nobody tore anybody’s work apart. They were very supportive! From what I hear, that wasn’t the case in all of the workshops – so I ended up in a good place for me.

Another good place was a restaurant right near the campus, where I went for lunch. It was called the Tidewater; I thought it was named that because Southampton is near the ocean. Inside, there were photographs of the ’69 Mets. The burgers were names after them – the Seaver, the Koosman. So maybe the restaurant is named after the Mets AAA team. What a find!


It was wonderful to hear writers talk about their craft, to see them respectfully interact with and learn from each other. And inspirational to be with other aspiring writers. My favorite session was led by Alan Alda – he talked about how to connect with the audience when doing a reading. He did some role play, and you could see each person improve with just a little bit of coaching from him.

What did I learn and how has it affected my writing? Would I do it – or another workshop/conference again? I am still processing all of that. I am glad I went - it felt great to be there - and I think I got a lot out of it. I will say that it reinforced my love of writing – as well as reading! Lasting impact TBD, I think.

Adventures with the Family

One day while the kids were in camp, my sister, her dog and I also went on a nice hike – we’ve talked about going again, and I just bought a trail guide to the South Fork for further inspiration. The part of Southampton I walk and bike has houses and farms and dunes, but further afield, if you will, there are also some beautiful wooded areas. There are ticks out here, so one has to be careful, but I hope to do more hiking.


One weekend, the whole family was here and we went to a corn maze. The roasted corn was delicious – it might be the best corn I’ve ever had. The maze itself was fun, but what I really enjoyed was seeing something that all four members of the family enjoyed (five, if you count the dog; six, if you count me!). My nieces are in a phase where they don’t want to do things together (other than watch TV, or so it seems) and don’t want to do much of anything (other than watch TV it seems). And the other members of the family kind of keep to themselves the rest of the time, too. Except for the dog.


This past weekend, there was a clear night and a sliver of moon – so many stars in the sky! I could see the Milky Way!

The family spends the month of August in the Southampton house; last year I left just before they arrived for the month. This year I decided I shouldn’t (and didn’t really want to) be here the whole time they were here – it’s their house and I didn’t want to be in the way! I also thought it would be good to get some space. I’ll recount the travels I took at some point. I had some mixed feelings about going away – turns out that while I was here I was not only not in the way, I was a big help, mostly with errands but also with babysitting (since my nieces are older, it’s not really babysitting; a better term might be coverage). I’m glad I was able to help, but also glad I was able to get away. My sister is starting a business (see www.evex.me) - again, beyond the scope of this blog, but I’ve been helping with that too, and I’m happy to be helping!

We also went to the U.S. Open for one of the early rounds – saw Sharapova win and saw Federer win. I had gone to the U.S. Open in 2006, the week before I left for Morocco. Before that, it had been years! Tennis is fun to watch, and it’s cool that one of its major events takes place in New York City every year. I’d go every year if I happen to be nearby!


And, counting my friends as extended family – some shopping for Moroccan rugs! There’s a rug store that used to be in Chicago and relocated to Southampton (what are the odds?) – you can check it out on hannoun.com. When Rose came to visit, we relived old times. Not the same without tea and places to sit for hours while looking at rugs, but still fun! Rose bought a small rug to complement what she already had. I resisted – can’t buy any more until I see what space I will have and what rugs I already have!

More Southampton Doings

Last year, it was all new, and I reveled in the discovery. This year, I knew what I was coming back to, and there was some comfort in the familiar. I repeated two of my favorite activities from last year, the Christopher Lesta 5K and the Wounded Warrior Walk. Both made me feel part of the small-town community, and both were very personal. In the 5K I ran for a while with someone whose daughter had been in Christopher’s kindergarten class; at the walk, the parents of the soldier in whose memory it was organized spoke, and we all observed a moment of silence and gazed at the bridge named for him. The Wounded Warrior Walk is a small Sag Harbor event – at the end of the walk, bike riders from the much bigger Soldier Ride come through and do a ceremonial lap through town, led by wounded warriors – I’m anti-war, but I do support the troops, and to see them and think about those in harm’s way is very moving. The ride goes through much of the South Fork – it would be fun to do it sometime! Recently the New York Times Sunday Styles section included the announcement of the wedding of two people who met on the Soldier Ride – it CAN happen!



I also did some new Southampton runs this year that I wasn’t around for last year – the Firecracker 8K and the Flying Point 8K. In a 5K, there are always lots of runners at my (slow) pace, but in the 8Ks, it’s mostly faster runners. So it’s a little lonely out there, but still rewarding – the flat, tree-lined streets with glimpses of big houses through the hedges make for nice courses.

I attended the Memorial Day and Independence Day parades – small-town America! The Memorial Day parade was literally about ten minutes long – some veterans, some boy scouts, a band or two and that was it. The Fourth of July parade was more than a couple of hours long – I didn’t stay for the whole thing! I call that growth – I didn’t need to stay until the bitter end. It was fun – lots of veterans, lots of local groups, lots of fire trucks – but after a while, I had enough! The fireworks in Southampton took place on the 2nd this year (the Friday night of July 4th weekend) and I walked down the beach in the dark to watch them in the distance. I had the beach to myself!




To get to the Wounded Warrior Walk, I took the Suffolk County bus. I was vaguely aware of the buses last year, but didn’t really think about where they went. This bus went to and from Sag Harbor! There’s also one that goes to East Hampton and beyond! Not only that, but when my sister and her family came to visit, I had occasion to drive the car that my brother-in-law leaves out here and offered me use of. I haven’t used it much other than when they’ve been here, but knowing that I can do that or take the bus makes for a changed mindset. I still tend to stick to the little world that I can walk or bike to – mostly because I go into town for things I need (such as food), and a drive or bus ride would be for something frivolous (such as going out to eat) when I should be looking for a job….

I left for the Philippines at the end of July last year; it’s been nice to be here in the late summer and fall this year (although in the back of my mind I thought I might be elsewhere by now, so I’ve made it more stressful for myself than I needed to, and I’m getting a little concerned about the coming winter). It’s wonderful to see the different things that bloom throughout the summer and fall. And it’s been a long time since I’ve seen beautiful fall colors. I love fall colors! These are Montauk daisies, in bloom at the end of September/beginning of October. Who knew?

The Further Adventures Returns!

I’m back! It’s been a long time since I’ve written in this blog – but I made a promise to myself and to my audience that I would write more. Actually, I’ve been writing off and on since my return from the Philippines, just not posting – in part because I didn’t know where to begin after such a long absence, with so many travels to talk about. I’ve decided to begin here, and then see where it takes me.

Here – is Southampton, New York. As I did last year, I returned from Southeast Asia and a trip across America (once-in-a-lifetime turned into twice in two years!) and have based myself in my sister’s summer home – most of the time nobody else is using it, and I have time and space to myself. It’s beautiful out here, which is good for the body and the soul. I’ve managed to create some stress for myself while job hunting, but that’s beyond the scope of this blog. I’d rather focus on the positive anyway, so I shall relate some of the adventures I’ve had out here on the East End of Long Island. Some pictures of the tranquility:




I arrived here in mid-March and had just two full days before going away again – but those two days happened to coincide with the first two days of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. That was a nice coincidence! I hadn’t seen much of the Big Dance on television in a long time – perfect background music for unpacking and repacking. Also nice was the fact that the weather was nice when I arrived – I went out for a walk and for a bike ride. Last year it was bleak almost all the way through the end of June! I had to get driven to the grocery store since it was too cold or wet or windy to go out on foot or bike.

One of my most ambitious bike rides this spring was the Tour de Cure. I’ve done the Tour de Cure in Illinois in the past; it benefits the American Diabetes Association and I’ve raised money for it in memory of my friend Paul. This one took place on the North Fork of Long Island – a flat course, with not a lot of traffic, past vineyards and through cute small towns and at times along the water. I hadn’t been back to the North Fork since my one day of exploration there last summer; I loved it then and was looking forward to the ride.

It was not a success, though. I rented a full-size car, not realizing how small full-sized cars are these days. The bike I normally use here has a basket and panniers on the back, and I couldn’t fit it into the car - and by the time I gave up trying, I was in a bit of a rush to get to the start. I rode one of the other bikes that are here in the garage up and down the driveway and put it in the car. It turned out to be a bad choice – it was too small for me, and it had mountain bike tires that made for slow going on the roads. I enjoyed the scenery but the biking was tough going; I finally turned around before getting to the halfway point of the lowest-mileage ride (the 25) and took the straightest way back rather than following the course. And was pelted for a while by cold rain. I walked the bike up the slightest inclines and at one point a support vehicle stopped and asked me if I was all right. There was never a question as to whether or not I’d make it; it was just tough going. I did it for my friend and for my donors, but I’d rather have done it triumphantly! I’d like to ride there again, with a different car and a different bike (or maybe just in a car!). At one of my rest points I snapped a picture of this post office – the North Fork has a lot of quaint in it. I shall return.

A Farewell to Chapter Three

As I sit here in Manila listening to the heavy rain of Tropical Storm Jolina, it’s hard to believe that a week ago I was in Southampton. My last week there was busy – so I’m glad I got as much done to pack, write and otherwise get ready the week before. The owners of the house (my sister and brother-in-law) came for the weekend. On Saturday, we watched the British Open, played Rummikub, hiked in the Nature Conservancy’s land on Shelter Island (this time I wore insect repellent, so was able to venture farther in) and saw “The Hangover” – I might not have chosen that movie as my last one to see for a while, but for its genre, it was not bad, much as I might hate to admit that!


On Sunday, we again watched the British Open, marveling at how close Tom Watson came to making history – and then feeling depressed when he didn’t. Mike Tirico said something to the effect that we might feel as if we were watching with someone we used to be watching with – somehow I came into baseball fandom on my own (my father claimed he saw me reading box scores in second grade so I would have something to talk to boys about) but our love of watching golf came from our father. Here’s to you both of you (Tom Watson and my father!).

Elisa was going to come up Sunday night for a day but decided it was too long a trip for too short a time, so instead we scheduled a long phone call, and I accompanied myself on a walk on the beach, a bike ride, and a stroll through the village. Rain (first since June? Then again, it rained 23 days in June) meant no beach walk or bike ride on Tuesday, but I did swim – and then I took the jitney into New York. I wasn’t sure I’d go back into the city again before I left. I had a chance to see my friend Alison, who I hadn’t seen yet – the past few times I walked in the park I wondered why I wasn’t walking with Alison, and we finally had that chance.


Rose got to New York last week – Rose! She was going to come out to the Hamptons for a few days but circumstances intervened. I was able to see her though – she and the friend she came to New York with and I went to lunch and then to the Asia Society – I was interested in what sort of Philippine art there might be. I didn’t see any in the exhibit (we didn’t get through the whole museum), but I did see some capiz-shell items in the gift shop, and already they have grown on me! So good to see Rose, though our time was way too brief.


The reason I went to New York was so that I could drive my sister and nieces out to the Hamptons – the girls were back from camp and didn’t have appointments, and my brother-in-law had to work. It was a long drive – the jitney doesn’t seem as long, but that may be because someone else is doing the driving! It was probably good though – I may dream of living there, but it was good to see the reality of how far it is, with traffic.

Good to spend the last few days with family (joined by my brother-in-law on the weekend, a friend of my sister’s and her daughter for dinner one day, the niece of my aunt and her family another morning, and the friend of my niece’s and her mother for a sleepover – more people than I saw in three months there!). I did a lot of errands (usually with Valerie), played games (with both her and Sabrina), and heard about Mark Buerhle’s perfect game! Be still my heart! He pitched a no-hitter while I was in Morocco, too.


On Saturday, my sister and I did the Wounded Warrior Walk in Sag Harbor. The Wounded Warrior Project is pretty impressive – you can go to empirestatechallenge.org to find out more. This walk was in honor of a Marine from Sag Harbor. He was in Iraq for less than a month when a suicide bomber came around. He shot and killed the driver of the truck, saving the lives of 50 people, but the bomb went off and he was killed. He was 19. Wounded warriors came to do the ride (it was a ride, too), as did fellow Marines from his platoon. The mom (who we met while walking) talked about another family up in Cape Cod, who decided to organize a bike ride up there leaving at the exact same time. They learned the day before the ride that their own son had been killed the day before that. How sad. But it made me even happier to be doing my part – the walk (for which I raised money – and will still accept donations) and, the next day, the Peace Corps.